Showing posts from March, 2018

A new perspective in grief

Typically, the beginning of a new year has always prompted in me a fresh resolve to begin or recommit to a resolution that fell by the wayside long ago; usually a casualty of the inevitable hurly burly of life and the big beautiful mess that it so often is. The turning over of a brand new calendar page will evoke in me an optimism for the year that lies ahead. I am an optimist at heart and therefore am hopeful that a new year will be a little better. Summer has naturally been a time to take stock and plan for the year ahead.  However, this year I’ve approached things very differently. The events of the past 18 months have left on me a big heart wound. Last year was filled with so much sadness and grief, one does not simply turn the page and move on as if all that was in the past has no lasting impact on the present. While the end of a year naturally brings to a conclusion some things, feelings and emotions are a little more elusive to box up. Rather than resolving to do and be someth

The Comparison Trap

  If you’re anything like me, the tendency to compare your children to others is a trap hard to avoid; whether it be a comparison with siblings, of other children their age, or of yourself at the same age.   With every stage of childhood development, there is the temptation to look sideways at what others are doing to validate and confirm that you as a parent are doing a good job and that your child is as well. While there are times when looking outward is helpful in assessing what is a good benchmark or goal to work towards, comparison can become a snare in loving your children for who they are. Instead, we begin to wish they were different; more like their peers; more like yourself. From the moment of birth, the comparison game begins. “My baby sleeps through the night.” “My child didn’t say a word until he was 2!” “My kid starting reading at 5 years.” Eating, sleeping, walking, talking…there are milestones at every age. For some reason, parents put their children into an unspoken