Showing posts from October, 2018

A new perspective in grief

Typically, the beginning of a new year has always prompted in me a fresh resolve to begin or recommit to a resolution that fell by the wayside long ago; usually a casualty of the inevitable hurly burly of life and the big beautiful mess that it so often is. The turning over of a brand new calendar page will evoke in me an optimism for the year that lies ahead. I am an optimist at heart and therefore am hopeful that a new year will be a little better. Summer has naturally been a time to take stock and plan for the year ahead.  However, this year I’ve approached things very differently. The events of the past 18 months have left on me a big heart wound. Last year was filled with so much sadness and grief, one does not simply turn the page and move on as if all that was in the past has no lasting impact on the present. While the end of a year naturally brings to a conclusion some things, feelings and emotions are a little more elusive to box up. Rather than resolving to do and be someth

Confession: I'm not the greatest model when it comes to driving.

I was running late…again. I could feel the stress rising inside of me. The internal acceleration of adrenalin was great; the temptation to just put my foot on the accelerator felt greater still. My shoulders rose to my ears and I was clutching the steering wheel, intent on getting to my destination as quickly as was legally possible. My impatience for red lights and slow drivers revealed my intolerance. Speed bumps became more like jumps, as slowing down to 20/kms I deemed optional under the circumstances. I was determined to get there on time, or as close to. I knew I was pushing it; I knew I wasn’t a model of driving sensibly and calmly, but my default response to time pressure had kicked in. Running late and keeping to strict schedules is a point of great stress to me. I hate being the one to arrive late, even when it is out of my control. Unfortunately, being a Mum of four kids, with all manner of time constraints, appointments and obligations, has the potential to be a daily issue

Arming yourself With Knowledge: The Value of Advice

When I was a new Mum staring out on the daunting journey of parenthood, I hungrily devoured any parenting books that were recommended by people who I respected. I was a novice in need of advice. From toilet training to tantrums; fussy eaters to shaping a strong-will; there was literature in abundance that promoted commonsense ways to achieve child rearing success. However, four kids later and a few parenting miles traversed, saw my enthusiasm for this advice wane. The demanding responsibilities of parenting, highlighted my inadequacies, leaving me with a whole lot of ‘Mum Guilt’. Added to this was the reality I came to appreciate: that no matter how diligently you adhere to the guidelines, or follow the three step plan, there are no guarantees of ‘success’ (no one is perfect and no child is a robot or a carbon copy of another). With this in mind, I became cautious of anything that claimed to transform a parenting problem. While I didn’t stop observing how others parented, or asking qu