Showing posts from June, 2019

A new perspective in grief

Typically, the beginning of a new year has always prompted in me a fresh resolve to begin or recommit to a resolution that fell by the wayside long ago; usually a casualty of the inevitable hurly burly of life and the big beautiful mess that it so often is. The turning over of a brand new calendar page will evoke in me an optimism for the year that lies ahead. I am an optimist at heart and therefore am hopeful that a new year will be a little better. Summer has naturally been a time to take stock and plan for the year ahead.  However, this year I’ve approached things very differently. The events of the past 18 months have left on me a big heart wound. Last year was filled with so much sadness and grief, one does not simply turn the page and move on as if all that was in the past has no lasting impact on the present. While the end of a year naturally brings to a conclusion some things, feelings and emotions are a little more elusive to box up. Rather than resolving to do and be someth


Currently, the common choice of music in our family is that of Coldplay. Whenever the kids are in the car and arguing about what to listen to, Coldplay is universally agreed on. So I’ve had the pleasure of many hours absorbing their lyrics. One song in particular has really resonated with me and how I’ve been feeling. It’s entitled Fix You and the song begins with the words, “When you try your best but you don’t succeed. When you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep, stuck in reverse”.  The daily challenge of adapting to life with teens, has left me feeling like an utter failure. A repetitive and unhelpful thought has played through my mind, negativity suggesting that all my conscientious efforts in the toddler and primary years have amounted to nothing. It has felt like everything I’ve tried to instil has been crumpled up and tossed out; deemed irrelevant and outdated (a common teenage assessment of things). My motives, my values and my h