Colours of my life

Last week I attended a seminar entitled “Surviving the Rollercoaster of Adolescence”; a talk given by Chris Hudson founder of Understanding Teenagers. While I can truthfully say that I have already encountered and survived the steep climb and the initial stomach-lurching plunge of the rollercoaster that is likened to living with emotional teens, and have definitely encountered a few curves and turns that have left me breathless and white-knuckled; I believe there are a few more corkscrew loops that are yet to be travelled before I can safely say that I have survived the ride _ hence my interest in wanting to hear his thoughts. As I think about rollercoasters, I can’t help but recall our families recent trip to Movie World. A day with teenagers in a theme park is very much like living a day packed with emotion; thrills and fears, excitement and exhaustion. One extreme had me being an excitable encourager, saying things like,“Give it a go… I think you’ll find it fun! It’s not as scary ...

If you were asked to describe what happiness feels like to you, how would you describe it? Is it that wonderful moment of heightened joy when everything you’re experiencing is exciting and good; when your step is light and your buoyant mood moves you to dance or sing? Or is it a more settled, peaceful feeling of contentment? When you perceive that all is good with the world and life couldn’t get much better. Whether it be momentary jubilation or a steady contentedness with yourself and others, happiness is golden. To be happy is something all of us desire. Each of us wants happiness for ourselves and for our children…and why not, the alternative is far from attractive. Yet happiness can seem an elusive thing; a destination rather than a travelling companion. Being a parent can mean we confuse our happiness with theirs. When they are happy, you are; when your relationship with them is good, then all is well. The trouble is, if your happiness is dependant on them, then the reverse is equ...

In an attempt to return my spiralling mind to a more helpful headspace, I was recently encouraged to think about my core values. I have engaged with these thoughts before and found it a beneficial exercise; seeing how my life choices are a reflection of what I truely value and then how these choices impact my day to day life. Sometimes I feel like I’m living life on autopilot; not thinking too deeply about why I’m feeling a certain way, or spending my time on certain things, I’m just doing life in the best way I know how. But with a spate of health challenges, both for myself and the family, and a growing problem with not being able to sleep…I was feeling at the edge of myself. Fatigued and jangled. It was time to stop, and revisit what I valued most and why. So I began to think, “What do I value, that I give my time, energy and resources to that reflects what I treasure?” I didn’t need to think to hard about this question… I value relationships. My relationship with God, with my hus...

I like the image of a long hiking adventure, to describe how I see life’s journey. To view a mountain range is breathtaking and to walk its course a privilege. However when you get up close to the task at hand, you find there are a lot of variables that can make the journey both exhilarating and hard work. It takes us to valleys and peaks, wilderness and beauty. Rocky paths and steep climbs give way to clearings and views that revive the soul. My hiking adventure over the past few years has been uphill and rocky, so when the path began to clear and the incline slackened; it was a moment to pause and rejoice. A moment to remember. On Sunday our eldest son, made a public declaration of faith in Jesus. He did this through confirmation and the sharing of his testimony; speaking of what God has been doing in his life. His decision to take this very personal step and to share it with our church family, was a significant moment; both for himself and for our own family. For myself and my hus...

Have you ever taken the time to sit back and reflect on what motivates you? Specifically what motivates you in how you parent? What are those conscious or unconscious thoughts that drive your actions; things below the surface that impact your daily interactions, whether positively or negatively? Sometimes, a new level of consciousness comes when there is conflict; maybe criticism for how we do things. Often this criticism comes from our children; (a somewhat confronting experience). Regardless of whether their assessment is right or wrong it can potentially encourage you to think more deeply about yourself; become a little more honest with who you are and why you are this way.  Being fully honest is not something we find easy to do. Being honest often means being vulnerable, and being vulnerable means that potentially we can feel pain or open ourselves up to hurt. Therefore it takes courage to be fully honest with ourselves and others. It also takes time; quiet time to reflect. Nev...

Currently, the common choice of music in our family is that of Coldplay. Whenever the kids are in the car and arguing about what to listen to, Coldplay is universally agreed on. So I’ve had the pleasure of many hours absorbing their lyrics. One song in particular has really resonated with me and how I’ve been feeling. It’s entitled Fix You and the song begins with the words, “When you try your best but you don’t succeed. When you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep, stuck in reverse”.  The daily challenge of adapting to life with teens, has left me feeling like an utter failure. A repetitive and unhelpful thought has played through my mind, negativity suggesting that all my conscientious efforts in the toddler and primary years have amounted to nothing. It has felt like everything I’ve tried to instil has been crumpled up and tossed out; deemed irrelevant and outdated (a common teenage assessment of things). My motives, my values and ...

This week, I had the most embarrassing and challenging experience I’ve had for a while; one which reminded me a little of my parenting experience. It’s been a number of years since I went regularly to an exercise class, but with my recent flare up of back pain I thought it time to be more disciplined with exercise that helps me. Having looked around at all the classes available, I chose to try one called Body Balance; a mixture of pilates, yoga and tai chi. While I had never tried anything like this before, a friend highly recommended it and so I thought, ”There’s no harm in giving it a trial.”  Due to my previous experience of pilates, I was anticipating an hour of physically tough, but slowly paced exercises that worked on my core strength, and an instructor who took you through the different positions carefully; allowing you to go at your own pace, and giving help when needed. Someone who was sensitive to each individual’s capabilities. My past experience did nothing to prepare ...